=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                     B E T W E E N   T H E   L I N E S [tm]

                    Volume 10, Issue 0.5 - April 1, 1998

                                DDDDD
                                D    D
                                D    D    GGGG
                                D    D   G
                                DDDDD    G  GGG
                                         G   G
                                          GGGG

                  Here's the Truth.  So get off our backs.  

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                                -= CONTENTS =-

       ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES
       INTRODUCTION
       INTRO BY ERIC THE RED                   - Eric the Red
       OIMD '98: A DREAMATOLOGIST'S VIEW       - Dr.  Sikman Fraud
       CHEESY DEB JOKES                        - Free Association
       THE TETRIS CONNECTION                   - Mario N.  Tendo
       DEB NAME CHANGE                         - Gabriella Van Slander
       DEBORAH III                             - Bob Carlisle
       PRODUCTION CREDITS                      - Free Association

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                               -= DISCLAIMER =- 

 Between the Lines (ISSN 0831-1970, electronic publication ISSN 1216-1986) 
 operates on a non-profit basis, although we wouldn't particularly mind
 ruining that record.  Donations may be mailed to the address found below.
 Distribution is permissible only under the condition that no part of it
 will be used for profit, which would be pretty tough anyway.  Trust us.
 "Between the Lines" and "BtL" are trademarks of Between the Lines.  Isn't
 it a shame how easily they're letting them be tarnished by releasing this?
 Copyright 1998, Between the Lines.  This forum does not necessarily reflect
 the views of Debbie Gibson, Deborah Gibson, GMI Entertainment, Inc.
 including but not limited to Espiritu Records, EMI/SBK, Atlantic, the
 Record-Label-of-the-Month-Club, D.G.I.F., or any organizations to which
 members belong or represent.  In point of fact, this is a parody, and holds
 no weight whatsoever, but, come on, nobody ever reads this stuff anyway,
 so who'll ever know?  Opinions expressed in this issue of Between the Lines
 do not reflect the views of the entire forum, but give us time; the Master
 Plan should take care of that.  All lyrics by Deborah Gibson are copyrighted
 by Possibilities Publishing, Inc./EMI April Music, Inc.  (ASCAP).  

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                          -= ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES =-

 Between the Lines has a central account and e-mail address.  Please send all
 administrative requests and submissions to:  BtL@BtL.org, and they'll be
 sure to get back to you before the turn of the millenium, unless your
 request is sent when the moderators are having finals, in which case there
 may be a slight additional delay.

 To submit articles by snail-mail, please proofread and send them to the
 postal address listed below.  Submissions sent by electronic mail should
 also be proofread, preferably by somebody who knows English.  However, at
 this point, frankly, we'll take anything we can get our hands on.  This
 issue ought to prove that.  Submissions should be typed, written legibly,
 or, in the case of Her Debness, dictated over the phone.  Sheesh, if she
 wants to, she can send stuff to us shredded and spelled backwards.  To
 submit by FAX, please call (604) 555-1212.  We reserve the right to
 redact, refer, reincarnate, reject, remember, dismember, dislocate,
 or discombobulate submissions with extreme prejudice.  Submissions
 become the property of BtL.  So there.

                              BETWEEN THE LINES
                              c/o T.Y.K.
                              P.O. Box 2121
                              New Milford, CT 06776
                              USA

 For those of you who are woefully unprepared for the Information Age, and
 do not have access to electronic mail, you may subscribe via postal mail.
 Issues are hand-printed by a minimum-wage worker with a sewing needle, an
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 bit.  Back issues are also available on cassettes for the TRS-80 or
 Commodore VIC-20 (please specify tape format when ordering).  Prices are
 at cost and are subject to change:

  Canada         $425 Cdn. for 5 issues / $250 Cdn. for back issues on disk
  United States  $425 U.S. for 5 issues / $250 U.S. for back issues on disk
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 Please make a cheque or money order payable to CASH and mail it to the
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 delayed in the event of writer's cramp.

 Someone demand some Free Association T-shirts already.  We promise,
 they'll be COOL.  

             -= BtL moderators, who disavow any blame for this =-

     Myra Wong : mkwong@btl.org

      Felix Ng : fng@btl.org

              -= The Nuts Writing This Show: FREE ASSOCIATION =-

   Heath Clark (Fons Taddic): ftzog@Bayou.UH.EDU

              Nicky Harrison: nicola@lexicon.net.au

        Shmuel Ross (Durlan): signs@silly.com

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                              -= INTRODUCTION =-

We warned you.

One year ago today, we warned you that the evil was just beginning.  Yet,
you return to this place... this place of conflicting senses and 
scattered memory, this place of ravaged logic and brilliant entropy.  
Do you see what you have done?  You have found a universe!  Sit, relax.  
Feel the vibrations of the universe flowing through you, and learn
to flow with them... flow into sight, into sound, and into memory.  

Flow towards the light.

Flow towards the fun.

Let the fun begin.

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                      -= INTRODUCTION BY ERIC THE RED =-

                         Eric the Red - Oslo, Norway
                             (viking@leif.net.no)
                                April 1, 1998

   Hi, people!  My name is Eric the Red, and I'm so happy to have found
this list, you have no idea.  You see, I've been a fan of Debbie Gibson
for the longest time, so it was great to find out that there are so many
fellow fans on the 'Net.

   You know what I like most about Deborah?  Her message of tolerance.
Just listen to "Tear Down These Walls," for instance.  We're all fellow
passengers on this Spaceship Earth, and we all have to get along with each
other, and I thank Deborah for spreading this important message.

   You know what bothers me?  Some people aren't so enlightened.  Yes,
there are some JERKS who don't seem to get along with ANYBODY, and I HATE
people like that!  Why, some of those stupid bigots can even be found on
the Internet, and it makes me so MAD that I want to take my coffee mug and
smash it against my monitor, and then go out and FIND these people and
THROTTLE them for being so darn INTOLERANT!!

   ...but my doctor's warned me about getting so upset, so I try to calm
down and concentrate on the positive side of life.  Which is where
Deborah's music is so invaluable.  So thank you, Deborah!  I love you!

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                    -= OIMD '98: A DREAMATOLOGIST'S VIEW =-

                       Dr.  Sikman Fraud - Berlin, Germany
                             (oedipus@rex.co.de)
                                April 1, 1998

Guten Morgen, everyone!

My name is Doctor Sikman Fraud.  I am a world-renowned dreamatologist.  You
will have heard of me, no?  This morning I was browsing in my local Tower
Records for ze lates masterpiece by those naughty Spice Frauleins when I
caught sight of the single "Only In My Dreams 1998" by Deborah Gibson.  You
can imagine my excitement.  At last, someone taking my work seriously!  Of
course, I bought the single and raced straight home to hear Frau Gibson's
thoughts on dream analysis.  

Well!  I am writing to you to set ze record straight!

In the first verse she starts off seriously enough with "every time I'm
telling secrets/I remember how it used to be."  Anyone capable of closing
both eyes at once knows that dreaming of secrets means misfortune in a love
affair, and remembering the past also indicates sadness.  This goes well with
the theme of the song and shows Frau Gibson's talent in combining many
layers of meaning in a single phrase.  This talent continues throughout the
verses.  Then in ze middle of ze song Frau Gibson humorously simulates
sleeptalking during the dream of the title by repeating the lyrics in a sort
of confused mutter (in the trade, this is what we call the Rapid Audio
Phonetic sleep state, or R.A.P. sleep for short).  This I found very funny.
Frau Gibson attempting R.A.P.S?  Imagine!

No matter how ambitious this may be, it is, at least, a good try.  But
what CANNOT be excused is ze very disturbing sentiments in ze chorus.  I
am referring of course to the constant repeats of "no, it was only in my
dreams, as real as it may seem, it was only in my dreams."  For ze first
chorus I thought, "ha-ha, she is showing how people usually think, she
will correct them soon," but we get to the end of the song and nothing!  I
am very upset.  While a consummate professional like myself may enjoy a
private chortle over the idea that anything could be "only in dreams," ze
average person - whose experiences in ze wonderful world of dreamtime
extend only so far as cigars and wood paneling - will not see ze irony
of zis statement.  These silly proclamations are the part of the song
people will remember most!  I cannot understand what she is thinking of. 
Is she poking fun at me?  Was the whole song her idea of a little joke?  I
am not amused! 

Frau Gibson is not only doing herself a disservice by ignoring the power of
ze subconsious and pretending dream images are brought on by too much
strudel just before bed, she is also misleading her listening public by
teaching them that dreams do not matter!  Frankly I am disappointed.  Is this
really the same person who treated my poet's block so sympathetically in "No
More Rhyme?"

I am most upset at Frau Gibson and will be writing to her shortly.  In the
meantime I will stick to the Spice Frauleins.  At least when they say "Spice
Up Your Life" I know they are talking about cooking!

In concern,
Doctor Sikman Fraud
World-renowned dreamologist and poet.
------
My latest masterpiece:
"There was a young man in Hong Kong
Who wondered where he'd gone wrong
Instead of cigars
He dreamt of large cars
And nothing at all of his Mom!"
- S.  F.  

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It's time for a Cheesy Deb-Joke!

Question: "Why doesn't Diane help the stage crew set up equipment?"
Answer: "Deborah doesn't want to Shock her mama!!"

Ow.  

Why were you just subjected to that, you may ask?

We at Free Association are nothing if not honest.  We mean that in all
sincerity, and we'll stick with it, even if you torture us.  More to
the point, we thought it'd be fun to whip up a whole new batch of 
jokes about our favorite artist!  Maybe she hasn't even heard some of 
these.  :)

Who knows?  They're pretty bad.

But seriously, what's an inspired, deeply philosophical artist if ya
can't chuckle at 'em every now and then?  So, throughout this issue,
we'll sprinkle a Deb-joke here and there.  Think of it as an Easter-Egg
hunt... Well, except that the eggs aren't really 'hidden' per se...
or maybe just the humor is hidden... Or maybe we should hide after this
gets out.... Yeah, that sounds about right.. well, we're off to pack.  

Enjoy the rest of the newsletter!

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                          -= THE TETRIS CONNECTION =-
      
                         Mario N.  Tendo - Rome, Italy
                            (gameboy@nintendo.com)
                                April 1, 1998


   It is a little-known fact that video games have been a major influence
on pop music over the years.  I mean, sure, most people know that George
Michael wrote "Monkey" after 48 straight hours of playing Donkey Kong Jr.,
and then there was that entire "Pac Man Fever" album (which we shall avoid
comment on.  Never say we're anything but completely benevolent and
merciful), but how many people have really given any thought to the
crucial role of video games in the music of Deborah Gibson?  Very few, we
think.  The reason: Nena.  We're not quite sure why, but we're sure that
they're responsible somehow.  

   This is a shame, which we intend to correct.  In order to properly
understand any song, as only the fans of Deborah can, it must be placed in
the context of its writer and the prevailing culture at the time.  Why,
there are probably people who don't understand that Jimi Hendrix
originally wrote "Light My Fire" as a promotional song for the short-lived
Free Association Air Balloons, Inc.  advertising campaign.  (Alas, the whole
venture failed, and the song went on to become a hit.  Typical.  Anyway,
that's why we took up writing.) This is an example of just the sort of
insight which makes the field of music criticism so exciting.  

   Woo!  
  
   First off, let's briefly mention that after an extensive analysis, we
have come to the conclusion that Deborah's a video game junkie.  Hands
down..  She's the queen of the zap'em, smash'em, crash'em, death-from-above-
then-shake-your-booty-and-blow-em-out-of-the-water-and-into-game-over-
man-zone of the arcade, and frankly, you're going to have to fight her for
the Zaxxon machine.  So, what does she play, you might ask?  "Whatever she
wants!" is what we'd tell you, and then we'd look at you funny.  "OK,
really, she plays whatever inspires her."  And then we'd smile sweetly at
you and you'd walk away, satisifed.  [twinkle] Some of her favorite games
thus far have been Breakout, Pong, Mortal Kombat and sometimes even
Network Doom.  Amazingly, these seemingly harmless pastimes provided the
inspiration for such songs as "Tear Down These Walls," "Between the
Lines," "Do You Have it in Your Heart?" and "Can't Do it Alone,"
respectively.

   However, the most insidious of these twisted creations also serves as
Deborah's biggest contribution to the world of arcade game music: The
infamous "Another Brick Falls," from the Anything is Possible album.  

   Anyone who's read the liner notes of AIP (is obsessed) knows that
Deborah was into a certain black-and-white, vaguely evil pocket-sized
video game system when the album was being made.  After all, just after
thanking two-thirds of the civilized world, and just before thanking the
last third, she credits Nintendo Gameboy "for hours of studio
entertainment!" 

   (Whether Deborah ever watched "Captain N," Nintendo's former Saturday
morning commerical, is knowledge lost to the ages.  Still, it doesn't beat
Saturday Supercade.  Nothing beats Saturday Supercade.  But we digress.) 

   Somewhat ironically, in the sixty-first paragraph, Deborah writes: 
"Thank you God for planting songs in my head without me knowing where they
came from..."  Well, SHE might not have known where this idea came from,
but the truth is readily apparent to us.  God was communicating with
Deborah through her Gameboy!  Of course, what else could possibly be the
inspiration for "Another Brick Falls," but everyone's favorite game craze?

   Tetris.  

   Truly, "Another Brick Falls" is a brilliantly simple, revealing, and
even tragic account of one of Deborah's revelations during the making of
the AIP album.  Tetris.... A game of infinate consequences, being played by
Deborah, a person of infinate determination.  Neither could possibly gain
dominance over the other!

   For a moment, consider the storyline of the lyrics.  "But when I put the
last brick in the wall / Another Brick Falls."  Unless this is about a
particularly bad part of New York we haven't heard of, what else could
this be except for Tetris?  Clearly, she's managed to completely clear the
screen of bricks... and then ANOTHER one of the things falls.  It never
ends!

   "I run my race, keep up--oh / Pretty well, at a steady pace but / There
are days I fall behind the pack"  It's pretty obvious that there was some
sort of Tetris competition in the studio, and, shocking as it may seem,
Deborah wasn't always the high scorer.  In fact, she says so herself,
earlier in the liner notes: "Bob Rosa--Your mixes may be unbeatable, but
my Tetris is not!"  This would have been heresy coming from anyone else,
of course, but if Deborah said it, it must be true.  Failure to accept
Deborah's statements as truth is treason, punishable by the continuation
of the Deb-jokes series.

   At times, she tried not to take the competition so seriously.  "I tell
myself it's all a game," she said, but the truth remained.  It wasn't.  
Tetris was a metaphor for life, and she was hooked, trapped in an endless
conflict with a force that refused to let its challenge to Deborah be denied.  

   Of course, she ultimately broke out of the conflict, and resumed her
life and her work.  Happily, she produced "Another Brick Falls" as a result
of the experience.  You can even hear a little bit of the Tetris theme in
the song if you listen really closely.  If you can't hear it, you're not
being holistic enough, and don't qualify as the elite sort of expert
existential music critics we are.  So there.  Nyah.  Neener-Neener.

   In the aftermath of AIP, Deborah was able to finally walk away from
Tetris for good.  The conflict was a draw, but where Tetris had learned
nothing, Deborah had a swirling mass of inspiration which transformed her.
To reflect her new state of mind, the entire "Body, Mind, and Soul" album
was written about liberation from Tetris, and of embracing life after it.
(Except for "Little Birdie", which we think had something to do with Nena.) 

   Stay tuned next time, when we explain the connection between
"Moonchild" and "Sailor Moon."  It oughta be ultra-cool.  Really.  We
mean that. There's something here, we tell you!  Do you honestly believe
it's a COINCIDENCE?!  

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It's time for another Cheesy Deb-Joke!

Question: " What do you call Deborah with red hair?  "
Answer: " Tiffany.  "

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                             -= DEB NAME CHANGE =-
      
                       Gabriella Van Slander - Comics, NY
                              (gabby@flash.com)
                                April 1, 1998


The word on the net is that Deborah has caught the name-changing bug and is
thinking of doing it again.  This news is bound to stir up a lot of excited
discussion among fans.  Luckily we have done some analysis and are now in a
position to bring you advance notice of the new "secret" identity.

As you know, Deb started out as "Debbie Gibson" and recently switched to
officially being known as "Deborah Gibson."  Well, hang on to your hats!
We have it on good authority that, following in the footsteps of John Cougar,
in just a few short years, Deb will be known to the world as:

                                Deborah Mellancamp.

Remember: You heard it here first!

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It's time for yet another Cheesy Deb-Joke!

Question: "What's weirder than the sound of one hand clapping?"
Answer: "The sound of one Deb rapping."

Remember, kids, they may not be getting funnier, but they sure help pad out
this newsletter!

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                     -= DEBORAH III: THE BUDGET EDITION =-
      
                          Bob Carlisle - Somewhere, USA
                               (bkisses@ac40.com)
                                 March 32, 1998

   Just before this newsletter went to print, we received a bit of
late-breaking news that just barely got in.  If it weren't for the 
talented, brilliant, obnoxiously good-looking and sinfully underpaid
writing staff we have here at Free Association, our boss would be
out on the street and not resting comfortably in his vibrating chair 
while we sit in chairs that probably survived the 1920s.  

And now for the news:

   Espiritu Records announced today that it would be releasing a 
third version of _Deborah_, their first-ever release.  An official
(we think) spokesperson for Espiritu had this to say: 

     "The re-release of _Deborah_ is due mostly to some slight
     budget cuts.  Changes will be minimal, for the most part,
     but the "Butterflies are Free" track will be replaced by
     a new, updated version of the song, "Butterflies are Cheap."
     Also, the front cover is being changed to reflect another
     side of Deborah.  This photo was taken by Deborah herself,
     and is basically an intimate shot of the back of her head.
     We're all very proud of the work, and hope it'll be received
     well by fans."

   When asked about the possibility of another convention, our contact
responded rather curiously:

     "[Censored]!  Another Convention?  Not if an [Oof] [Bleeped] a
      [Neener]'s [Dorf]!  <<click>>"

   Journalistic Excellence, if we say so ourselves.  

   In other news, the stock market had a surprise jump today, as companies
that produce and distribute Chocolate-Covered Lobster made leaps of
unprecedented magnitude.  As a result, Free Association's Nicky Harrison,
the sole stockholder of such companies, is now the world's richest
individual.

   5 to 1 odds that she's going to hog the water cooler now.

   Also in the news, Lord and Master Zarcon of the Planet Zarcon in the
Galaxy Zarconia conveys the message that perhaps this might have something
to do with Deborah's fascination for Chocolate-Covered Lobster.  Or maybe
not.  He also wishes to express the following message:

     "YOU'RE NEXT, EARTHLINGS!!"

   The exact meaning of this message is being analyzed now, but officials
assure us that Zarcon is probably a nice alien like we saw in "Contact,"
so there's no need to worry.  Have a nice day while you can.

   Finally, just so we'll end on a good note, we have obtained the lyrics
to the new "Butterflies are Cheap" track.  And guess what?  We're in
SUCH a good mood, we're releasing them to the public!

   Live it up all!  We're out of here.

BUTTERFLIES ARE CHEAP

Don't look away
Here's a surprise
Come see the fun in butterflies
And if you feel you're not impressed
Why would I lie?
Isn't this the best?
If you buy just one, I'll give you the rest
I'm sure you'll find true happiness!

CHORUS:
Butterflies are cheap
Cheap as post-it notes
Cheap as ginsu knives
What would you know?     
There's a great guarantee
But no, you can't have them for free.  

The price is right
Five bucks is all
But this sale ends July
Better hurry and call

So, what more could you need?
It's rock bottom right now
A bargain like this, it's rare to see
And then if they breed
You'll have to agree
That this is the chance
Of the century

CHORUS
 
The slower you slip
The more I'll insist
Amway does that, I suppose...
The treasure you'll get is nothing to miss
So why not give your dough?  

REPEAT CHORUS REPEATEDLY
 
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It's time for the final Cheesy Deb-Joke!

Question: "If Deborah had kids, what would they call her?"
Answer: "Ma Belle"

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                         -= PRODUCTION CREDITS =-

   This has been A Free Association Production.
   Make of it what you will.

   Free Association Productions is a global organization haphazardly
grouped into three people: Nicky Harrison, Shmuel Ross, and Heath Clark.
Under normal circumstances, none of us would have ever met, and the world
would have gone on its merry little way adoring Hanson.  However, through
the power of the Internet, three people who could rate a fairly liberal
psychological status of "whacko" have been brought together and are now
writing jokes about Deborah Gibson between trips to Japan, French classes,
and Babylon 5 conventions.

   Is this a great world we live in, or what?  

   Compliments, Good Vibes, Expensive Presents, and Chocolate may be sent to
any of us at our E-mail addresses above.  Anything else, unless it's a movie
deal, will be considered an act of war, and you will be subjected to a
poultry-induced pummeling.  Before doing either, however, please check out
our legal notice:

   This entire issue is a work of satire.  If you STILL haven't caught on,
take a close look at the date at the top of this issue.  Non-US readers
may wish to grit their teeth, count to ten, take a deep breath, and
remember that April Fool's Day is one of those quaint cultural traditions
those daft Americans have, and is undoubtably one of the reasons that they
are completely incapable of finding anything on a map.  Come to think of
it, weren't you planning a vacation to Singapore?  

   Any resemblance between persons in the issue and real-life persons,
without satiric intent, is completely coincidental.  And if MAD Magazine
can say that with a straight face and not get sued, then so can we.  Nyah,
nyah, nyah.

   No butterflies were harmed in the making of this newsletter.  On the
other hand, George Michael and Nena were mildly roughed up, but it was for
a worthy cause. 

   Heath: I'd like thank Shmuel and Nicky for the roller-coaster ride
we've had writing this thing.... It's been fun!  Thanks to the
Administration of BtL for not causing any notable harm to our persons for
trying this again :) Thanks to Tribble for being fuzzy and walking on my
toes, Thanks to the Cosmic Balance of the Universe for making insanity as
entertaining as it has been so far, and, of course, Thanks to Deborah for
the inspiration and the energy.  :)

   Nicky Harrison would like to thank Shmuel and Fons for letting me play
with them this time, and pretty much letting me get away with just a bunch
of emails saying, "Me too!" and "that's great!"; Colin for his support and
suggestions and for teaching me to say "_Debbie-san doko desu ka?_" (where
is Debbie?) for my Tokyo trip last December (it didn't work, btw); the
entire online community of AIP; and of course Deborah Gibson, without whose
music and talent none of us would be here right now.  Anyone for a
chocolate-covered lobster?

   Shmuel would like to thank Nicky, for letting us drag her into this, and
who's been a lot more involved than she's willing to admit, and Fons, for
another year of madness, late-night mudding, and squirrels of fury.  Thanks
also to Myra, Felix, Levien, and Jonathan, for all their contributions to
online Debdom; to the various members of AIP for hours of amusement; and,
of course, thanks to Deborah Gibson, who's brought us all together through
her music.

   Offer void where prohibited, and prohibited where void.  Contents may
be unsettling during packaging.  This newsletter is not intented to 
treat or diagnose any disease.  A proud member of SNAFU: Shmuel, Nicky,
And Fons Undercover.  You have the right to remain silent.  You have the 
right to an attorney.  If you give up these rights, anything you say can 
be used against you in a court of law.  All other rights, lefts, and
wrongs reserved.  If at first you don't succeed, turn off the TURBO
button.  This issue was brought to you by the letters "N" and "I" and
the number "4".  Have a nice day, watch for falling rocks, and beware...
the evil is just around the corner.